Inhale Exhale

Writing this while I can’t sleep because it ain’t easy being wheezy as they say. I’ve had asthma my whole life and there’s a lot of us out there, but not enough of us to not feel like the odd man out sometimes. Bronchi constricting makes you realize how very fragile life is when sometimes basic breathing is a struggle. 

The other night I was playing the “should I go to the ER?” game and my focus from 12-3 am was simply inhale, exhale, in and out. It’s quite a humbling experience to be reduced to the most basic act your body does. It is the ultimate reality check that I have no power over any breath I take, asthma or not. Every single one is a gift from my Creator Redeemer. Asthma feels so needy and obnoxious. But lately, I try to remind myself that everybody has their thing, or multiple things, that make them feel that way. I remember yet again, we are all glass. And that can be a good thing.

Instead of being unbreakable iron vessels, we are fragile beautiful glass, intentionally crafted, meant to be handled with care. A little-known fact about me is that I like to watch a show about glass blowing when I can’t sleep. So with glass on the brain, it makes me grateful that we are so fragile. The glass objects they design have beauty, purpose, intentional design, and function. Strength juxtaposed with fragility. Just like us. 

I am trying to trade the shame felt when the fragility of humanity smacks me in the face in this results-driven culture with a moment to invite God nearer still. KJ Ramsey says “Your neediness is a nativity.” She explains that our human needs are an opportunity to invite Jesus into that situation to be even nearer still, as He is Immanuel, “God with us.” God does not condemn our humanity as a nuisance. Instead, God met us at our level and joined us in our humanity through Jesus. He became glass just like us, with lungs, a heart, and eyes that cried.

For you, it may be breathing, or a host of other things like pain, finances, fear, your appearance, your past, or your future that make the vulnerabilities of life center stage. As Christmas draws near, as KJ Ramsey says, I encourage you to join me in using those vulnerable moments as an invitation to welcome Jesus closer still.